Bill of Rights- Anne Dickson

I found this whilst looking through some old files, this was a previous blog I posted years ago. And it seems as relevant today as it was then.

Many of us, in particular, women feel that our personal rights and needs are less important than those of others. And that if we were to be more assertive with our rights that it would make us appear selfish. But this really isn’t the case. We all have a right to be heard and to be able to express what we think and want and require from others. Conflict isn’t welcomed by everyone and many of us try our best to avoid it. Instead of speaking up, we keep quiet. We smile, pretend to agree, play along, or turn a deaf ear. Over time we allow ourselves to be reduced to being mere bystanders- both in our immediate environment and in the world at large.

In her pioneering handbook, A Woman in Her Own Right, written in 1982, Anne Dickson draws on her long experience of in-person training to give women the tools needed to assert what they feel and want, manage difficult conversations and avoid being sidetracked by culturally learned behaviours. The assertiveness techniques were eagerly grasped by women who experienced inequalities at the time. Like unequal pay or exclusion from certain professions or high-levels management positions and who were ready for change. This struck a chord, both here and abroad, and many women went on to transform their lives in various ways.

It’s not about not caring about other people or hurting them, as often we care more about others than we do for ourselves. It can feel quite hard to put this into practice at first. I was talking recently to a new neighbour, who in conversation started to tell me that my opinion was wrong about the topic we were discussing. I politely said that I was entitled to my opinion as I have a right to think differently to them. If this didn’t go down well, it doesn’t matter one bit, as I have the right to express my feelings, opinions and values, as do you. Assertive personal power means saying ‘no’ clearly when that’s what you want to say, it means expressing your needs and challenging an unfair criticism, it means initiating a difficult conversation with someone you care about at times.

There are 11 basic rights given in this book, I have listed a few of these below:

I have the right to express my feelings,opinions and values
I have the right to be me
I have the right to say no
I have the right to make mistakes
I have the right to change my mind
I have the right to say that I don’t understand
I have the right to not feel responsible for the problems of other adults
I have the right to put myself first
I have the right to not be dependent on the approval of others

Anne Dickson is a psychologist, counsellor, trainer and writer with over 40 years’ experience of teaching communication skills and the management of emotions. A leading authority on women’s development and the author of several books, including The Mirror Within and Difficult Conversations. A Woman In Your Own Right, her first book, has remained in print ever since 1982 and has been translated into 13 languages. Dickson was approached by a publisher in 2022 who proposed a 40th anniversary edition. Giving an opportunity to update the book. There is now a section on assertiveness in social media. Much of the material remains as relevant now as when it was first published. There is a new book called Trusting the Heart which will be available shortly.