Make a Wish!

Several years ago, I wrote a blog on healing and self-help books. I am not too sure if many people read it but by actually writing this blog it helped to heal me during a challenging time in my life.

During a recent sort out, I don’t just write about Marie Kondo, I found copies of some of the blogposts I had written. On reading these I wondered if I had ever put into practice any of the things I had blogged about?

We use the phrase “Make a Wish” when blowing out candles on Birthday cakes, we throw coins into wishing wells and fountains whilst making a wish, make wishes while blowing on dandelions and make wishes on the stars. But do these random wishes ever come true or are they instantly forgotten?

One of the books I enjoyed reading and talked about was 5 Wishes by Gay Hendricks. Just to give you a brief history on Gay, he is a psychologist, writer and personal growth practitioner. With his wife Kathlyn he has written around 50 books often focusing on positive relationships and attracting genuine love. Through the Hendricks institute they teach seminars on core skills for conscious living and conscious loving. Their work has touched the life’s of millions of people around the world.

I have read many of his books and what I think what was so special about this short book was that it was poignant with a strong message and it made me think about what I actually wanted from my life. Its not about just focusing on something but putting these goals into action. By writing down your goals it starts the process. But its not just about thinking there does have to be some action.

To give a brief synopsis: (as I would encourage you to read the book yourself)

An encounter at a party changed Gay Hendricks forever. A stranger asked him to imagine himself on his deathbed and to consider the question “was your life a complete success? If not, then what would be the things you had wished had happened” As a single man at the time Gay said his deepest wish was to have a loving, lasting relationship with a woman. The stranger then said “turn this wish into a goal and put it into the present tense” Gay came up with this goal I enjoy a happy relationship with a woman I adore and who adores me. Having had a wonderfully happy marriage of 40 years to date, it is fair to say he achieved his goal.

Now at first glance this might appear a bit simplistic but the focus of the book is to discover what your personal five wishes would be to lead a fulfilled life.

I wrote my Five Wishes and put them at the front of a journal/scrapbook that I frequently look at. I haven’t achieved them in full yet, but I certainly have achieved aspects of them and are still making steady progress in moving in the correct direction.

I think this wonderfully little book helps to point you to your ultimate goals and when you actually focus on what you truly want, you maybe surprised by what you discover about yourself.

For more information see

  I Might Wear it Again!

How many of us have something we haven’t worn in years? This has been my mum’s mantra for years, despite my attempts to encourage her to have a good sort out.

It could be pieces that at one point in time (when you were younger and thinner) you loved to wear or items that were very expensive, in some cases too much so. Perhaps you are going to slim into it, or are keeping it in case you need it in the future.

Sometimes we keep things that can be passed onto to a younger generation. As a design student, I had some beautiful Italian shoes ( Prada of their day) from my grandmothers friend, which started my love of good shoes. I wore my grandfather’s classic Crombie overcoat every day for ages and which I wish I still had.

There’s something very special about items that can be passed on. Having something of good quality, when its properly looked after, will stay with you for a long time. I don’t ever regret these purchases, but the items I bought for the wrong reasons like sale items or items that weren’t totally right.

Jack Fordham, manager of vintage store the Vault, sees his wardrobe as a collection, much like a collection of books and sees the real value of a garment.

 “If I don’t wear it now, I might wear it in 10 years’ time. Holding on to clothes is both sentimental and economical for me”. Jack Fordham

Whilst, I understand this and agree to a certain extent. I always remember a very stylish and fashionable friend telling me, if you wore a look the first time around or even the second time round, be careful not to just look as if you are in a time warp. As, what looks great at 20 or 30 may not start to look quite the same at 40 or 50. Its totally possible to look fashionable at all ages but trying to dress the same as someone 20 years younger doesn’t always work. The ever-youthful Kyle has given away her gold hot pants! I guess knowing what to keep and what to give away to a new home is the key to a great wardrobe, which doesn’t require its own room or spill over into several rooms.

Objects hold memories, items of clothing in particular are like portals to distinct moments of our life’s, they remind us of great nights outs, happy events and holidays. So, don’t hold one to items that have negative memories.

Anna Chiu, from sustainable american label Kamperett values clothes that have a sense of history. In her own design process, she often draws on items inherited from her grandmother. I have added an image.

 “I love that her pieces are so timeless in design and are still in such great shape that they are able to be used well, in multiple lifetimes. Anna Chiu

As we try to become more sustainable in all our practices, clothing been a key area, myself included, this is where our resolve does tend to weaken and garments are held onto often for emotional reasons. I guess the best way to deal with this is to buy what you need and use it now, not for the future or because the price was good. I have been guilty of this myself on numerous occasions but buying something in several different colours never works. I always seem to just wear the first item.  As a child when we got new clothes particularly shoes, we always wanted to put them on straight away. I would say that as adults we need to feel the same about what we buy. If your new purchase hangs unworn for a couple of weeks return it, sell it on or give away.

I leave the final words to fashion designer Jason Hewitt.

 “I don’t believe in disposable anything, it’s wasteful and places an unnecessary burden on the environment. There are costs in terms of energy and water consumption, shipping, human labour. All these small things add up and go into every garment. So, when you buy something, it needs to outlive the cost of its impact.”