Last week it was National Happiness Day. (It does always appear to be the national day of something or other) This got me thinking a bit about what is happiness exactly? We use this word all the time. We often ask ourselves and others are you happy? Many people see “contentedness” and “happiness” as one and the same. In some ways they are similar. When you’re happy, it’s a state of being, influenced by a number of factors, including contentedness.
Happiness- Good fortune or luck in life or in a particular affair. Success- prosperity. The state of pleasurable content of mind which results from success or the attainment of what is considered good. Oxford Dictionary
Does this mean if you are not successful and haven’t acquired all that you want, you can’t be happy? What do we really need to be happy and is this different for different people? We think, “I’ll be happy when I get married” or “I’ll be more satisfied at work when I get a promotion.” So, convinced are we, that all will be great, when we buy that luxury car or go on a dream holiday. The truth is that a feeling of happiness can be created right now, regardless of our circumstances.
Happiness is an emotion and this can be short- lived, it comes and goes. So, if we are focusing on happiness alone this can lead to a constant pursuit of external validation. In the Western world we are obsessed about our happiness, but in many ancient cultures they don’t even have a word for happiness and focus instead on contentment.
Chokkshay- is the word used by a group of Nomads in the Himalayas. This translates as The Knowledge of Enough. For many ancient cultures it is seen as right now, right here, everything is perfect as it is. Too often, we get so entrenched in our busy lives that we don’t even notice whats in the now. When we finally come up for air, we focus more on the past or the future, rather than the present.
Contentment- comes from the Latin word of Contentus- which means to hold together intact or to be whole. Contentment is a mindset which stems from accepting things just as they are, including your messy, imperfect self.
Having ones desire bound by what one has. Not disturbed by the desire of anything more or anything different. Satisfied as to reprise. Oxford Dictionary
Contentment is an attitude or state of mind influenced by both external and internal factors and can be longer-lasting. It doesn’t mean not having goals and dreams but about not been unhappy with where you are now. It’s a mindset. People feel discontentment because they think something is lacking in their lives, or they wish that things were different. Contentedness, on the other hand, is a matter of being satisfied with what you have. It focuses on what you have already. You can choose to be content. (Perhaps if you if you choose to be content, you will be happy).
Sometimes people cannot achieve happiness with what they have, even if they have the financial means to provide all the luxury you could desire. Many very wealthy and successful people find themselves unhappy. Seeking external validation is always going to be outside of our control. To gain a sense of satisfaction in our current life is a more sustainable goal. ( If at times harder to achieve). A common fallacy is that material things and personal achievements increase happiness but that’s just not true. The opposite is true, getting more stuff can make us feel worse or lead to wanting even more stuff! A similar effect happens when we base our happiness on personal or professional goals. Celebrities who have every accolade they could ever want, can still feel lost and miserable.
How can we be more content? If we learnt to be more content with the people in our life’s and have a more positive attitude this almost always leads to more harmony. Discontented people tend to be complainers, or grumpy, or negative. That leads understandably to problems both at home, work and in relationships in general.
Determining exactly why your job or your relationship or your physical appearance is making you discontent, can be helpful. As living in unresolved unhappiness only keeps us in the past, dealing with things we can’t change, and makes it hard to move on to better times. External factors such as financial stress, relationship issues, or health problems can make it difficult to find contentment, as these challenges can make life feel hopeless. But by taking the time to appreciate life and the people in your life and learning to enjoy the simple things this can make you feel better or at least that it’s not all bad.
Finding activities that offer a healthy distraction from your feelings of discontentment and frustration do help when things are overwhelming. Gardening or tending plants , listening to music or reading a book all can be enjoyable. I started blogging during a difficult period in my life. And journaling can be a really helpful tool in moving through any discontentment.
Mindfulness this is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress. I have some YouTube Videos that I watch and there are quite a few books and information online to explain in greater detail.
Take that first step toward happiness and Contentment. Doing so will be a gift that keep giving back to you for the rest of your life. Count your blessings and smile.
Created Curated by Sara Brown 